Though I believe that Valentine’s Day is mainly a holiday for women year after year this question is brought up, What do you get your man for Valentines day? Well I’m going to give you some do’s and don’ts to a Valentine’s Day gift for a man. There’s some things that women think that we really want for Valentine’s Day which could be further from the truth.

Gifts Men Really Want For Valentines Day:

A Bottle of Our Favorite Liquor or A Ounce of the Finest Weed: This is simple, this is something we enjoy and makes us happy. We appreciate simple things, we want something we are actually going to use. So ladies go out and purchase that Hennessy Black for your man, or the finest Sour you can find.

Cologne: We like to smell good ladies so a nice bottle of cologne will do as well. Make sure your not cheap and get us some bullshit smelling cologne because that will get returned.  Also, stop asking us every time we put some cologne on where we are going? That always irked me.

Some Bomb Head: Now I know what ya’ll saying, head should be an everyday thing…… Well some of you are slacking though. Ladies I’m not talking bout no regular head, I’m talking bout some mind blowing top. If you need references watch Super Head tape give some head doing a hand stand I don’t know make it interesting.

Money: I don’t know why but women really hate giving men money for whatever reason. I don’t know if its “I don’t wanna give him money because he might spend it on some other chick” type stuff or what; but a lot of times we just rather have money. We like having some extra bread in our pockets to walk around with.

Peace of Mind: Ladies read this one very carefully. The best gift you could give a man is what I call a “Shut the Fuck up” Pass. Now what that is, is a weekend card, where we display this card and you ladies have to shut the hell hell up for a weekend. So we don’t have to hear your complaining about us, your job, your friend who’s a hoe but you you still hang out with her etc. Hence the phrase peace of mind.

Gifts Men Don’t Want for Valentines Day:

Sex: Ladies your vagina isn’t and I repeat isn’t a gift period – Signed All Men

Chocolates: Nothing says you want to get cheated on like buying your man chocolates for Valentine’s day.

Edible Underwear: Edible Underwear is for YOU ladies not for us. If u want your vagina smelling like a fruit rollup more power to you.

Pregnancy: Don’t tell us you’re pregnant on Valentine’s Day because then I’m going to have to ask you what’s really my gift.

Home Cooked Meal: Now if you can REALLY cook disregard this, but if your cooking sucks or is just “ok” take us out to eat. We don’t want to eat your raggedy ass chicken and cornbread on Valentines Day.